For years, it was possible to be hip and still follow politics. But when Barack Obama entered the picture, such a tremendous shift occurred that now it’s almost impossible to be hip without following politics. Which is great, really. The youth need to get immersed in who will run our country. You couldn’t have asked for a better lead-up to the presidential race than the slugfest that was Clinton/ Obama. To the victor go the spoils, they say, and for Barack, that means me discussing some things I’ve learned.
#15: Ensure your competitor looks like a clown when smiling.
#14: Drap yourself in the American flag at all times.
#13: If a relative is of a different race, find a way to constantly mention this.
#12: Recruit your child to promote your intentions.
#11: Never deny a good-looking white man’s support.
#10: If you plan on openly practicing your faith, have the head clergyman visit a psychotherapist.
#9: Do not participate in a “fist pump” unless you preface this gesture with a thorough explanation.
#8: Saying “Umm” often makes you appear charming and unassuming.
#7: Wear jewelry.
#6: If your audience is unsure of your position on a variety of political issues, become a proficient public speaker.
#5: When at a loss for words, shout “change”
#4: Convince a strange woman to make a song about you.
#3: Shake your fist alot…but gently.
#2: Arrange a meeting with Abercrombie & Fitch’s marketing department.
#1: Our next president will have protruding ears.
