Things I’ve learned from “In Rainbows”

Radiohead’s awesome, there really is no argument. The only debate involves which album ranks as their masterpiece. The logical choice is “OK Computer” of course, and I suppose one could make an argument for “The Bends.” I’m not about to say “In Rainbows” is their greatest achievement, but the hype surrounding it is warranted. It is an amazing CD, regardless of how the band released it. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve gotten tingles. Here’s some things I’ve learned.

#15: If you plan on making a transcendental song, rework the track hundreds of times over many years.

#14: The fact that “fishes” is grammatically incorrect is of zero importance.

#13: Putting a “_” or a “/” between letters in a proper name somehow makes the / name_cooler

#12: A song titled “Nude” could never be bad.

#11: If you wish to avoid a shear drop, stop at 14 steps.

#10: If a woman’s smile reminds you of an Alice in Wonderland character, you should quickly petition for sex before she passes out.

#12: There are no DVD players in heaven.

#11: The minimum voluntary price of an album is $3. Pay any less and you are an asshole.

#10: Even if you can purchase an album for cheap online, you will feel incomplete until you own the actual CD and liner notes.

#9: Somehow, a dog trapped in a Ford Taurus during an Arizona summer is sexy.

#8: What would constitute a whine from another is genius from an middle-aged Englishman

#7: If you name your song after a horror movie, it must the loudest on your album.

#6: It will remain a perpetual mystery if ‘jigsaw’ indicates a puzzle piece or the actual tool.

#5: Screaming children make happy background vocals.

#4: Giving someone the ability to create his own track from your track will often result in disappointment.

#3: Some songs require an altered state of mind to recognize their full brillance.

#2: If you can instantly relate to “All I Need” then you are in love.

#1: Radiohead can do no wrong.