I was a sophomore in high school when Final Fantasy VII came out for PlayStation One. I was one of the first of my friends to buy it. I remember getting immediately sucked in and preaching its awesomness to everyone at school the next day. I was jeered a bit in the beginning; this was obviously before role-playing games blew up online and throughout multiple gaming systems, so my enthusiasm was very misunderstood. Once they decided to give the game a try, however, they were hooked. Our addiction got so bad I can look back at my yearbook from that year and scrawled in there are testimonies on how incredible FFVII is. One kid even called himself Cloud. And we were considered the cool kids of our grade.
I write all this because when I first played Final Fantasy XII, I got those feelings all over again. And I was 26 at the time. I had followed the series since VII and while I really liked X, XII fully renewed the awe I felt that first time way back in high school. I beat the game over a year ago and have moved on to other games since, but I still go back sometimes to work on ridiculously hard side missions; so much so that I’ve logged over 130 hours total (is this slightly pathetic as well? Yes.). For me, during the height of my FFXII journey, the game was a way of life. It possessed my thoughts. I actually hung the map that came in the game’s box on my fridge (again, I was 26 at the time). So you can imagine how much I’ve learned from FFXII. Actually, you don’t have to imagine…
#20: In effect, you can trade a bundle of sticks, a thimble and a piece of lint for the most amazing weapon on the planet.
#19: If you wish to become a savior, buy tons of hair gel.
#18: When needed, previously unseen members of the group accompanying you can appear from thin air.
#17: Only a man wearing glorified overalls has interest in mysterious treasure chests.
#16: Some townsfolk require an intermediary to exchange goods or information with a loved one who is just twenty yards away.
#15: An absurb amount of items can be carried in a precocious teenager’s pockets.
#14: After succeeding in an arduous battle, an unseen symphony will play.
#13: A glowing coat rack allows instant transportation to far off lands.
#12: A helmet works just as effectively even if you’re not actually wearing it.
#11: Adolescents, when equipped with spheres, are stronger than gigantic beasts.
#10: The correct pose for a variety of emotions, especially confusion, is clasping one’s hands behind one’s head.
#9: A mouse-like creature with a pom-pom suspended above its head knows all about the threats of the world.
#8: Vendors are indiscriminate.
#7: Tomatoes are angry.
#6: Giant birds can travel where small humans cannot.
#5: Sewer systems are fancy.
#4: A humongous sword, while slaying a monster, leaves no mark.
#3: If you wish to portray yourself a villian, wear ornate body armor.
#2: Massive diamonds will occasionally kill you.
#1: When FFXIII comes out, I will waste $500 on a PS3.
