If we’re judging by the past two movies I’ve seen in the theater, parents have completely lost it.
I saw “Step Brothers” last night. Hilarious. I’ll get into my thoughts in a second. But first I have to sadly report that the exact same thing happened during that movie that did during “The Dark Knight”. Two young women sat in front of me. They had with them a 4-year-old. Yes, four. These women actually brought a child still in diapers to an “R” rated movie that, if you’ve seen it, derserves every bit of that rating. Sitting behind them and watching them laugh at the obscenity on screen and indulge their baby companion to do the same was horrific. And, again like last time, one of the older women talked on her cell phone a few times during the movie. The whole display was appalling.
When this happened at “The Dark Knight,” I was likewise dumbfounded. But at least that movie is rated “PG-13″ and the major issue with a child watching it is he or she getting scared or seeing violent images (inappropriate in their own way, of course). ”Step Brothers,” however, is a completely and utterly unacceptable movie to bring a child to. There is no caveat. There is no excuse. It is raunchy, lewd and sexually explicit and no person under 10, let alone 5, should be permitted to see it. The fact that these two women not only permitted a child to see it but enabled and encouraged her to do so is inexcusable and, frankly, abusive.
I’m a Democrat. A liberal. I’m not religious. Freedom of speech and all other freedoms are sacred to me, even if those freedoms might offend another. I have no prejudices, I swear. To each his own. But it’s outrageous that parents or relatives are bringing children under 5 to adult movies. It’s disgraceful, irresponsible, ignorant and shameful.
People who do this: stop. If you witness people doing this, tell them to stop. I’m upset with myself for not heeding my own advice. If it happens again, however, I won’t hesitate. Three strikes you’re out.
Now, if you’ve made it this far, thanks. I’ll try to end on a lighter note: testicles on a drum set. Just one of the many hysterical moments in “Step Brothers.” Was it as good as “Anchorman?” No. But that movie sets the bar pretty high. It was definitely better than “Talladega Nights.” I’d watch it again. Let me tell you about some things I’ve learned.
#20: Any jackass can produce a rap video.
#19: People that lease or sell helicopters are pricks.
#18: From the previews alone, I predict “Tropic Thunder” will be the funniest movie ever made.
#17: It takes less than two minutes to dig a six foot hole.
#16: Farting = eternal entertainment.
#15: If you’re seeking your first sexual experience, punch a woman’s obnoxious husband in the face.
#14: 40-year-old men who live at home own awesome tee-shirts.
#13: Do not attempt to build a bunk bed with a hockey stick.
#12: Many elegant restuarants are equipped with built-in projection screens.
#11: Most little kids are punks.
#10: Depending on the lighting, older women can either look sexy or like a leather-faced hag.
#9: Anything sung in Italian is moving.
#8: A blind man’s dog has full reign of the neighborhood.
#7: Enterprise has a stellar manager-in-training program.
#6: You’ll get away with more shenanigans if one of your parents once aspired to be a large reptile.
#5: If you live with a sleepwalker, refrain from haphazerdly turning on the oven.
#4: Co-flying a kite is an extremely bonding experience.
#3: Don’t teach your boy “Sweet Child O’ Mine” before his voice changes.
#2: Until witnessing it on video, the destruction of a beloved object can go unnoticed – even if that object is 40 feet long.
#1: If you plan on covering Billy Joel songs, learn his entire catalog.
